I’ve heard about this happening, but it’s always been to other people, not me. My brothers have talked about it; my cousins have experienced it. Heck, I first heard about it from my father, of all the awkward ways to learn about something like this.
But I’m turning 50, and like every other guy out there (and yes, women too) it’s just a natural inevitability. I knew it was coming and yet I should’ve been more prepared. My dear, sweet wife took some of the pressure off by joking about it, but I know inside it affects her too.
It’s not like those dopey commercials are any help either. You see all the older guys talking and you know they’re paid actors. It’s all just a job for them, discussing what happens as you age.
Still, when it hit me in the face — so to speak — I was a bit bemused and a bit horrified. And here’s the weird thing; I was just talking with my best buddy Bob about it not two minutes before it happened. Can you believe it? That’s the God’s honest truth. He wrote me asking something pretty close to this, “Just out of curiosity, has it happened to you yet? It happened to my brother long before his 50th birthday. Should I feel slighted?”
I wrote back confidently that I was unaffected, untouched if you will, by that affliction. But then … then it happened.
If you know me well enough, you realize I pride myself in my openness and honesty. So once it occurred, I had to write to Bob (and to all of you) and admit it.
This is exactly what I wrote back:
SUBJECT: Spoke too soon
MESSAGE: Just went out to the mailbox and there was my damned AARP card.