Notes From Down Under

Be afraid; be very afraid!

If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to ask for a glass of milk. Likewise, if you go into a cave with a photographer, he’s going to ask you to pose. And you’ll likely be trapped underground indefinitely.

You may think it sounds like a pleasant little excursion, visiting a cave on a vacation. And by all means, do visit a cave on a vacation, EXCEPT if you are traveling with a photographer. Worse, if you are traveling with two photographers. But the most heinous thing of all is traveling with another photographer if you yourself are a photographer. Even the Geneva Convention rules on prisoners can’t help you.

You don’t realize it yet …

Oh, it’ll start off innocently enough, “Hey sweetheart, just stop there for a second.”

But then, like the proverbial mouse with a cookie, it’ll inevitably lead to, “Oh, I like that; you look awesome. Can we try …”

…but you are both trapped underground.

There’s no saving you now. Your ego — that enjoys being prettily pictured — wants to jump in and do something slightly different. Subject becomes photographer; photographer becomes victim, err, subject. And the whole horrible cycle continues over and over again until your day’s plans are as shot as each other’s photos.

Oh sure, there’s no doubt you’ll get pretty pictures…

… but it may take all of your yoga skills to twist you out of that mess.

The exception to this rule is if you are in a kayak and it’s nighttime and a cyclone is coming and you paddle into a cave to see glow worms. Then, your time is limited by the very polite guide who requests that you turn your phone off and enjoy the miracle that’s made the ceiling and walls their home. Oh, you may wanna plead your case, but your guide knows how to get you back OUT of the cave and where your car is parked in the dead of night. It’s best not to push it.

Glow worms are notoriously shy and really prefer to only shine at night.

And one final thought. Never go into a cave if a seal barks at you during low tide, telling you it’s hers not yours. You may have been there first, but you really don’t know how angry seals can get; it’s her “turf”; you don’t have Google to tell you how quickly seals can move on wet, mushy sand, but you know how fast YOU can move on wet mushy sand.

Never go into a cave with a seal (middle left), even if she invites you.

If you see these two at the mouth of a cave and you’re anywhere near said cave, RUN in the opposite direction!

For More Notes From Down Under, feel free to visit:

Greetings From The Edge Of The World

The Stars of the Southern Hemisphere

Notes From Down Under

Notes From Down Under: Wild Horses & Strawberry

Notes From Down Under: Hobbiton

Notes From Down Under: Penguin Parade