The salty, older cashier-lady was giving me the business for having too many items in the 15-and-under aisle.

HER: “You get ONE offense, but if I see you again, you go to the back of the other lines.”

ME: “Oh, how many items do I have?”

HER: “The lady ahead of you did the same thing.”

ME: “How many am I over?”

HER: “The bosses get mad and I can’t keep doing this.”

ME: “I’m sorry, I didn’t do an official count.”

HER: “No one does.”

ME: “How many do I have?’

HER: Beeps, swipes, bagging, huffs … “15.”

TO MYSELF: Phew! I can’t take another black mark on my supermarket rap sheet.

(ALSO TO MYSELF: Glad I put the veggie lasagna back, or there’d be hell to pay).