Mike, Mike, Mike & Mitch
This past July, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) was part of a bipartisan group of senators who wrote up legislation requiring the United States to collect and publicize records about UFOs or UAPs (unidentified anomalous phenomena) as they’re now called. The legislation said information had to be disclosed to the American public immediately. The Schumer Amendment — as it’s known — mentioned “non-human intelligence” 22 times!
At the time, Leader Schumer wrote:
“For decades, many Americans have been fascinated by objects mysterious and unexplained and it’s long past time they get some answers. The American public has a right to learn about technologies of unknown origins, non-human intelligence, and unexplainable phenomena. We are not only working to declassify what the government has previously learned about these phenomena but to create a pipeline for future research to be made public.”
But now, a small set of Republicans are fighting against the amendment — Mike, Mike, Mike and Mitch — and everybody wants to know why? Rep. Mike Turner (R-Ohio), Rep. Mike Rogers (R-Ala.), Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R-La.) Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) are about to stymie this bipartisan UAP Disclosure initiative.
So I got the notion to sit down with the gentlemen and ask them some of your questions. The following is
not a
TOTALLY REAL conversation I had. I assure you, this is
parody and not
COMPLETELY REAL.
ME: Straight up, the vast majority of the House and Senate want this legislation passed; why don’t you?
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE:
MITCH:
ME: Okay, thank you for being so candid. Are you currently being bribed by the Military Industrial Complex or hasn’t this month’s check arrived yet?
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE:
MITCH:
ME: Let’s try a different tact. Attorney Danny Sheehan has been involved with some of America’s most fascinating legal cases, including: the Pentagon Papers, Watergate, the Silkwood case and Iran/Contra just to name a few.
Danny Sheehan says “This is the most important single piece of information that our entire human family could have, that we are not alone. These people are now threatening to keep secret the fact that there’s an Extraterrestrial Civilization surrounding us and open to us participating in an entire galactic civilization.”
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE:
MITCH:
ME: Really, that’s all you can offer up, silence? Did you hear what Danny just said, ETs want to invite us into a galactic civilization?!?!
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE:
ME: Uh-oh, somebody needs to reset MITCH; he’s frozen again.
ME: Your fellow congressman from the other side of the aisle — Rep. Jared Moskowitz, (D-Fla.) — is working together with some of the most right wing Republicans in Congress. Ya know what he wants to know?
U.S. Rep. Jared Moskowitz asks, “Why are key Republicans resisting transparency on UAPs? If they aren’t real, why are they stopping these efforts?”
MIKE:
MIKE:
MITCH:
ME: Oops, I think we had a Mike drop.
Marik Von Rennenkampff — a Former analyst at the Department of Defense — asks, “If there is nothing to hide and nothing to the UFO phenomenon, why would any member of Congress object to greater transparency and oversight …”
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE:
MITCH:
ME: Say, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) asked UAP whistleblower David Grusch questions this summer in a hearing. Maybe you didn’t hear what he said?
AOC’s question, “If you were me, where would you look?” regarding answers to UAP questions and evidence to validate his claims. Grusch replied, “I’d be happy to give you that in a closed environment. I can tell you specifically.”
MITCH:
ME: Where are the Mikes?
ME: As if you don’t know, Congressmen, Lue Elizondo is the former director of the Pentagon unit that studied UAPs.
Lue Elizondo writes, “please know that ongoing efforts are underway that will reveal themselves by early to mid 2024. At the risk of haters trying to sabotage our efforts, I can’t be precise at this time.”
ME: Are you haters or saboteurs?
MIKE: Saboteur, is that trip you take in a Saab?
MIKE: No, that’s a Saab tour.
MIKE: Saab doesn’t make cars anymore.
MITCH:
Former high-level Intelligence official Christopher Mellon states, “I’ve always believed that the public has a right to know if our government has proof that some UAP are of off-world origin. Lately, I’ve also come to the conclusion that, if true, revealing this incredible secret would also be very much in the interest of our nation and indeed humanity itself.”
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE:
MITCH:
Journalist Ross Coulthart reports, “This amendment is now in peril because key politicians with substantial Defense aerospace funding have flipped.” What say you, boys?
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE:
MITCH:
Tom DeLonge laments, “What’s right for the world is not the priority, capitalism is in its way…”
ME: Do you agree with rockstar-turned-UAP disclosure advocate DeLonge that money’s got your tongue?
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE: Yum, money
MITCH:
ME: He likes it, hey Mikey!
The first UFO lobbyist, Steve Bassett, writes in a press release, “Self-interested forces inside the Pentagon, our intelligence agencies, and government contractor aerospace corporations are applying political and financial pressure … to kill this legislation.”
ME: So Three Mikes and a Mitch, are Coulthart, DeLonge and Bassett right; or is it not about the money, money, money?
MIKE: “Seems like everybody’s got a price.”
MIKE: “Why is everybody so obsessed?”
MIKE: “Everybody look to their right.”
MITCH: “And guess what? In thirty seconds, I’m leaving to Mars.”
ME: Now you’re just quoting lyrics from Price Tag by Jessie J
MIKE: You started it.
ME: Fair enough
Researcher Chris Wolford reports, “I was told early on if we don’t do this now it’s likely never gonna happen again.”
MIKE: “Why is everybody so serious? Acting so damn mysterious.”
ME: Quit it with the Jessie J lyrics
Researcher Joe Murgia flatly states, “Enough with the games and bullshit. Good, bad or neutral…advanced human tech or non-human in nature, we deserve to know the truth.”
MIKE:
MIKE:
MIKE:
MITCH:
UFO Jesus, Ryan Robbins, is conducting a poll.
He says, You have a choice:
Jerry Springer Disclosure
Catastrophic Disclosure
Controlled Disclosure
MIKE: Oprah
MIKE: Maury
MIKE: Montell
MITCH: I don’t know those names.
Lynda Thompson implores your colleagues to, “PLEASE get the NDAA Bill with UAP Disclosure Act in full passed asap. Our country cannot wait.”
MIKE: What does NDAA stand for?
MIKE: National Defense Authorization Act
MIKE: What does UAP stand for?
MITCH: I don’t know those names.
Matt Ford, from StandForBetter.org, puts it simply, “Mike Johnson, Mitch McConnell, Mike Rogers and Mike Turner are trying to kill The UAP Disclosure Act.” Are you trying to do that, fellahs?
MIKE: Can I quote Jesse J again?
MIKE: How about Pink Floyd’s Money?
MIKE: Let’s Make Lots of Money, by The Pet Shop Boys?
MITCH: Take The Money And Run, by Steve Miller?
SECRETIVE AGENT FROM DEEP INSIDE A PARKING STRUCTURE: ABBA’s Money, Money, Money?
ME: Hey, where’d you come from?
Podcast host Kelly Chase presents a very positive future for UAP Disclosure. “They can’t stop it. They can only slow it down. So the only thing we need to do to ensure victory is to be relentless.”
Kaleen chimes in on Twitter saying, “I would like to thank all of you who have continued to “fight the good fight” sans the actual fighting; we can accomplish much more than we ever thought we could.”
Science Bob McGwier sums it up, “Why are the bought and paid for lackies resisting disclosure and if there is nothing to hide, this is what they should want since they constantly abhor government overreach? It is time to end the secrecy and expose the illegal activities.”
My wife — listening from the couch — agrees, “If there isn’t something to this, why are they blocking it?”
For more of my UAP stories, feel free to click over here:
and here:
Rodney Curtis is a recovering journalist and author of four books.
Check out Rodney’s books here.
